Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Resentment and Jealousy Be Gone!

Resentment - Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
Jealous - Resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc.,

These are two very strong words.  Unfortunately, they are also common words I hear often when speaking with a special needs family verses a typical one.  A few days ago we were on a play date with my daughter, her friend and her friend's mom at a playground.  A wide open, no fenced in playground.  The kind we aren't able to bring my son to because of elopement issues; same with the friend's family.  They have a special needs child also with elopement issues.  Our families are similar in so many ways;  two kids with one on the spectrum and one typical and thriving.  We were able to let the kids run and play where ever they wanted as long as they stayed where we could see them.  How refreshing to be able to sit down, on a bench and hold a conversation without running here or there or watching out for my son throwing the mulch or sand up in the air or throwing it at people.  It was a breath of fresh air. 

We started talking about each others hurdles in life and then the words came up.  I was asked if I felt the resentment and jealousy towards others like she had.  I stopped to think about it.  As of right now I am starting to feel at peace with our situation.  "It is what it is."  I heard this so many times that I can't stand it.  But, yes.  It is what it is.  This is our situation and I can be resentful towards other families and hate my life or learn to move ahead.  I'm sure when he gets older and my daughter starts to be able to hit milestones that he, as of now, won't be able to do, then I'm sure resentment and jealousy will rear its ugly head again towards those typical families who get to experience vacations, weddings, you name it without all the 'extra'.  I don't want feel that way but there will be a moment....I'm sure.  The only thing I know is he will be with me my entire life and he will always have hurdles in his life.  My job is to keep loving him no matter what and figure out how to help him, encourage him and keep my chin up.  It's up to me to keep the resentment and jealousy far, far away from this house and everyone in it.  I can't change others.  The only thing I can try to control is in this house and I choose to keep a positive frame of mind.  Some days are much more difficult than others but that's the same for everyone.  I'm the glass is half full kind of girl and I'm doing my best to spread positive vibes through the page on FB

So, my new friend, please try to dig deep and let go of the resentment and jealousy.  Your child is beautiful and your family is beautiful.  Wipe the tears and give yourself an extra hug because you are doing just fine.