It took 8 years in the making but it was finally done today. Yes, we signed the papers for our Last Will & Testament. Talk about nervous. Was I tempting fate by not signing or did I just tempt her by signing? Anyway, it is done, signed and sealed. Why did it take 8 whole years to do this you ask?
Thinking about death has always scared me. So many questions would come up. Did I want to be buried or cremated? Who would get what? Who would take the pets? When you're single that seemed like a big deal. Then I got married and had children. An even bigger deal. Then my oldest was diagnosed with autism. Now it was the biggest deal ever.
The movie Beaches with Bette Midler would make me cry all the time at the end. It was a touching story of best friends, one with a daughter, who passed away. At the end of the movie the little girl packed up a suitcase and her cat then was driven away in a limousine to live with her mom's best friend. Touching. Not a reality when you have a child on the spectrum. My son would not understand if his entire life was uprooted, therapies stopped, new school, new parents, the list goes on and on. Made me sick every time I thought about it.
It was on the top of our list every new year and then it would fizzle away after a while. I can not tell you how many times we had the same discussion and it always ended with my husband and me parting ways in the house. Outside of the obvious, my son has so much more to deal with. He wouldn't be able to move far away. He not only has a regular pediatrician but a developmental pediatrician, a psychologist, services all over the place with reports that can numb your mind if you don't deal with it on a daily basis. Besides he's not like our daughter. She will grow up, go to college and start her own life. It's different for my son. You know what I'm talking about.
Turns out it really took us 8 years to come to an agreement on who the couple should be to take over for us when we are gone. It actually turned out to be a quick decision on both of our parts when I brought up their name. They have full knowledge of autism and when I need advice it's their number I call. It was funny in a way. I was so nervous asking. It felt like I was in high school again, asking someone out. If they would've said no, I don't know what we would've done. Another 8 years would go by perhaps?
Do you have it in writing?